Zombie Soap

[This is an addendum to yesterday’s post.]

M: Is that the grapefruit soap on the bed?

J: Yeah.

M: I threw that in the compost.

J: Yeah.

M: You fished it out?

J: It’s a perfectly good bar of soap!

M: Of the compost?

J: There was nothing else in there!

M: And put it on the bed?

J: It’s dry.

M: It’s a shriveled piece of scummy nothing!

J: No it isn’t. It’s just dry because we didn’t use it enough.

M: I hate that soap. I tried to kill that soap.

J: There’s nothing wrong with it.

M: You were out of town, and I tried to kill it, and I thought I had, and now IT IS BACK FROM THE DEAD. It is ZOMBIE SOAP.

J: I’ll just use it in the shower.

M: I THOUGHT I WAS SAFE. I THOUGHT I NEVER HAD TO SEE THAT SOAP AGAIN.

J: I’ll use it up really quickly. Right after I get through the oatmeal bar. And the glycerine bar. And the leftover hotel soap.

M: NOTHING EVER DIES IN THIS HOUSE! NOTHING!

J: [Hilarity.]

M: [Hilarity.]

J: [Hilarity.]

M: Seriously. I can’t throw anything out. Even when you’re out of town!

[Tickle fight.]

5 Responses to “Zombie Soap”

  1. Joe says:

    Can you throw soap in the compost? Discussions about what can and cannot be thrown in the compost take up a lot of airtime in our household.

    Furthermore, what movie is this line from: “Black soap?? What, are you joining a minstrel show?”

  2. admin says:

    This was, in fact, another element of the discussion, omitted for comedic purposes. I think you can’t. At least, if it has any kind of perfumes, etc. This soap was pretty natural, though. Bottom line: no conclusion reached.

  3. Liza says:

    Don’t tell John. I throw away what I am sure he would consider perfectly good soap all the time. On second thought, should I sen it your way?

  4. Liza says:

    ooops. I meant to type: should I SEND it your way. That’s one problem with eating and typing at the same time.

  5. admin says:

    Liza, noooooooooooo! Noooooooooooooo! Do not send! Do not send!

    🙂

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