Archive for the ‘Prandial Innovation’ Category

My Latest Prandial Innovation: Fun Food Day

Monday, September 19th, 2011


For the last five months, I’ve been experimenting with a food regimen that’s a little on the intense side. In short:

1) No wheat

2) No dairy

3) No sugar

4) No meat, except fish once a week

5) Almost entirely whole foods/nothing processed

Put another way, my current diet looks like this: vegetables, fruit, whole grains, beans, and nuts. I’d venture to say that 90% of the preceding is organic, with maybe 50% local.

It’s been surprisingly enjoyable. Sure, at times I nose up to a bakery window and whimper, but most days I live in peace with my options. And that’s because I’m no longer in the throes of sugar addiction.

People laugh about sugar addiction, sort of the way they do about sex addiction (“Ha ha! I wish I had that problem”), but I’m not talking about a candy bar every now and then. I’m talking about Trader Joe’s Soy Creamy for dessert of breakfast. With chocolate sauce.

In the past, I’d dropped sugar alone, but wheat tends to trigger my desire for sugar. So then I dropped sugar and wheat, and that worked well for a while. But eventually I returned to my addictive ways, because what was I supposed to put melted cheese on? Vegetables?

This is the first time I’ve eliminated not merely sugar and wheat but dairy and most meat as well. And guess what? Easier—I think because now all the triggers are gone.

Not that I’m making any promises. Five months in, I feel willing to stick with it for the foreseeable future, but everything is a process, nothing is forever, and Buddhism is a beautiful religion.


As much as I like my current food plan, I was having a hard time imagining a life entirely without omelets, Eppoise, bacon, or chocolate cake. So I came up with an idea: Fun Food Day.*

It’s very simple. On a single, predetermined day each month, I eat whatever I want. WHATEVER I want. If I want a chocolate-covered-bacon-omelet-ice cream-baked-brie sandwich in a waffle cone, I am going to find that and eat that by 9 AM. With sprinkles.

Here’s the beauty of this plan. One day a month is the perfect interval. It’s infrequent enough to keep me from falling back into the three-cupcake-a-day abyss, but frequent enough for me to rest easily in the knowledge that my precious little (big) sugar-fat bombs are never too far off.

And because Fun Food Day is only one day, I inevitably end up eating a pile of heart-attack food for breakfast, sending myself into a food coma, and emerging only at dinner for a salad. In other words, it usually takes only a single meal to remind me why I’m on the plan in the first place. Winning!

*Fun Food Day was initially called Gorge Day, but John did not like the sound of that. KILL-JOY.


We were in Ashland, and I knew exactly what I wanted. Breakfast: a bacon/onion/tomato omelet at Brother’s restaurant, with hash browns and a scone. This all went down swimmingly. In fact, I took half of it home, because I wanted to save room for dessert.

On the way back to our cottage, we stopped at the sweet shop and bought $17 worth of chocolate. I don’t know how that happened. I had this idea that I was going to get only one or two little bites, so as to save room for chocolate cake later in the day. But I ended up with chocolate-covered caramel, chocolate-covered marzipan, and peanut-butter fudge. THAT IS HOW THIS SHIT GOES DOWN.

Then we went back to the cottage, and I ate almost everything. Well, I ate the caramel and the marzipan. And I finished the omelet, hash browns, and scone. And I had two bites of fudge. And then I said to John, “Hide the fudge!” And I lay down in bed. And did not eat anything else, except for a salad, for the rest of the day.


The Horror

Thursday, November 18th, 2010

You guys, Cokey’s dead. I mean, John did the deed, and we drank the juice.

And then I forgot about it.

Until this morning, when I removed something from the middle shelf of the refrigerator and discovered COKEY’S CORPSE on the bottom! With BLACK HOLES where his eyes used to be!

I ran screaming from the room.

Dessert of Appetizer

Tuesday, June 15th, 2010

As some of you may know, I have a predilection (some might say a gift) for prandial innovation.

It began when I was a child, and I asked my mother for dessert of breakfast.

“There is no dessert after breakfast,” she would say.

But I begged to differ. Who wouldn’t want to follow a bowl of cereal with a nibble of chocolate or a couple of quarts of ice cream?

As a young adult, I invented Dessert of Snack, which truly changed my life. And in my early 30s, I displayed my true genius for invention by coming up with Dessert of Dessert of Snack. (Not recommended for the inexperienced palate.)

Well, my friends, I have done it again. Last night after eating merely a single fresh spring roll, I decided that it was time for dessert. And in a flash of thinking unconstrained by convention, a new course was born: Dessert of Appetizer.

Live it, love it, eat it.

You know I will.