Archive for the ‘Yadda Yadda Yadda’ Category

Well, Paint Me Green and Call Me Gumby!

Thursday, March 25th, 2010

Get a load of this. With the help of my excellent web designer Nico, I just figured out how to check the stats on my website/blog. And, like, I’m getting 100 unique visitors a day! And 400 - 800 daily page views!

Who are you people?

And how come you never comment?

Could you be mostly bots? (Hello, bots.) Seriously, though. I wonder if my hosting site does count the spam-bots that daily regale me with their insidiously vague comments. (”Love your post!” “I think a doctor could take care of this problem!”) Otherwise, I’m at a loss, since I’ve done zero by way of publicity.

In other news, I must give credit for the title of this post to a random commenter on TWoP, expressing his/her bemused surprise at last night’s Survivor outcome. (Don’t judge me.) It’s such a great line, I might need it on a t-shirt.

Love to all 100 of my fans,

M

Los Olimpicos

Friday, February 19th, 2010

Like almost nobody I know, I am hugely into the Olympics. I think this is an either you-have-the-disease-or-you-don’t, a la the Academy Awards, and I’m a double-haver because I grew up watching both. (Thanks, Mom.) So every year, alone though I may be, I soldier through.

We all know that NBC’s Olympic broadcast is both shamelessly schmaltzy and shot through with commercials—not to mention delaying the highlights until midnight—so I’m going to blow past that and give men’s ice skating a big HELLS TO THE YEAH.

Though mostly I’m talking about the short programs, because the longs were…long. And a bit lackluster. And…Evan Lysacek? I mean: work ethic, degree of difficulty, Torino flu, comeback drama, check. But: artistry? Nee-yope. He seemsĀ  royally freaked out when he skates, whereas Plushenko is, like, Lord of the Dance. I know the Olympic pressure is mind-boggling, and I would myself be a pool of ooze, but I want my gold medalist to own the ice.

Sigh.

And did they not totally rob Johnny Weir? (Heh, just mistyped that as Johnny Weird. He must get that all the time.) I love you and every last tassle, Johnny!

Also, I have this to say about snowboard cross: I am against it. When luck is so heavily a factor, is it really a sport? I say no to any event where your four-year Olympic dream can end in a matter of seconds. There has to be time, people. You have to get do-overs. One of the great things about the skating is that even after a fall, some skaters come back in soul-stirring ways, whereas if you get knocked out of the snowboard cross course, you are roasted-chicken-done.

Stupid snowboard cross.

Half-pipe, on the other hand, is wonderful for this reason: the shrug. Have you noticed that when they fall, which happens so often that not-falling is the exception, they inevitably end the run with a shrug? They’re like, “Oh, well! That didn’t quite go as planned! Brewski back at the lodge?”

Memoir: Why Do They Hate You So?

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010

A couple of weeks back, The New Yorker ran a review of Memoir: A History, in which writer Daniel Mendelsohn posited a theory for why people get so angry about memoirs. (That is, people are always complaining about a memoir glut, and how memoirs amount to nothing more than a bunch of whiny, self-identified victims publicly airing their woes—whereas you don’t get a lot of backlash against the novel.)

Mendelsohn’s theory is that people hate to be duped, and that memoirs are, by their nature, duplicitous: Even if a writer attempts to be as truthful as possible, the truth is a slippery thing, memory is notoriously plastic, and reconstructed dialogue isn’t exactly hard data.

Eh . . . maybe.

I think there are other reasons:

1) Personal disclosure makes people squeamish. While daytime talk shows and social media would make it seem as though social boundaries crumbled long ago, I think there is still a general discomfort in our culture with learning intimate details of strangers’ lives—and if not in learning the details then most certainly with witnessing the feelings. Here’s my evidence to support that: How often do you cry in public? Which brings me to . . .

2) Other people’s feelings are scary. This is pretty much the same point, except I want to stress the power of the aversion. In almost any social situation, there’s a whole “Oh, don’t cry” thing that happens as soon as someone’s eyes begin to glisten. Even people who know that they’re supposed to let you weep (I live in Northern California) often have a hard time with it, and the same goes for anger, grief, and pretty much anything but cheer. Our culture does not have the “be with/allow” value. We have the “silence/fix” value.

3) Memoirs are tonally tricky. There are lots of poorly written memoirs, many of them superficial, not seeming to understand the gravity of the endeavor. As I’ve written here, I’m a consumer of the compulsively written, jokey memoir, but it does make me uncomfortable, basically because the author is usually treating her suffering as a joke, without compassion. And then there are the humorless memoirs, revealing deep wounds in hackneyed language that makes it even more painful—as if the writer didn’t quite value her own story enough to write through the cliches.

4) And then there’s the motive problem. Why do people write memoirs? I think most people write them because they want to tell their story. Good reason. And I, personally, love reading other people’s stories. But some people write memoirs because they’re trying to get their wounds healed, or win love, or make money, or get back at someone, or all four. And those memoirs are hard to read.

One more thing: A poorly written memoir can feel like overdisclosure. And overdisclosure is uncomfortable, because it assumes intimacy where there is none. A well written memoir can ease us into intimacy the way we ease in with a new friend, revealing personal information when it feels safe to do so.

In other news, my gerbils both suddenly froze, mid-chew, to watch me. We were locked in a mutual stare—all three of us. Then I lifted my hands to start typing again, and they zipped back into their little house. You could almost see cartoon puffs of smoke in their wake.

I am so in love with them.

Once I asked John what he thought it was like to be a gerbil, and he said, “You just suddenly find yourself doing things.”

Anyone else want to weigh in on memoir backlash?